Identity Crisis and Social Media Use
As someone whose formative years (around 7th-8th grade) were spent exploring and engaging with the advent of mobile social media, I have felt and seen its potent effects on both myself and my peers.
Middle school is a time of developing your relationship with self and environment, ideally. We all ebb and flow through different personality traits - basically beta testing the person we want to be with our social circles and community. Everyone comes from different environments: The effect of different child-raising techniques, generational conditioning, or any experience that shapes personality dictates how we navigate our social environment. The time spent coming into yourself, whatever that may look like, is key in developing an understanding and relationship with the self and others, but it can also be extremely stressful. The feedback we receive from our fellow human beings are so important in creating a relationship with self and life, hence why unmonitored, unconscious social media infected and fundamentally changed the process
A study showed that emerging adults might develop a stronger dependence on their phones as they might be going through a social identity crisis
As our social lives exist predominantly on social platforms, many emerging adults (adolescents) begin to form identities within and reliant on the feedback given in these hyper social environments. This is so dangerous. If adolescents arent given the SPACE, TIME, or SKILLS necessary to develop a healthy relationship with themselves and their identity, they are virtually (no pun intended) enslaved to the identity/ self-worth they design ONLINE - which is strictly contingent on the feedback received in these social platforms.
If certain trends, ideas, dogmas are rewarded on social platforms, and the majority of youth DERIVE THEIR SENSE OF SELF ON THESE SOCIAL PLATFORMS, then they are subject to a volatile sense of self, one that is constantly changing day to day based on what’s rewarded at a given time. This gives immense power to the systems in charge of facilitating how these online platforms function and what information is present at a given time. This also further deepens tribalism and lack of open, constructive communications. Any side that disagrees with the identity you’ve latched onto will then pose a threat to you.
We can’t and shouldn’t fight the inevitable growth of technology, so we need to learn how integrate it into our well-being. We need to teach the youth how to derive a sense of self naturally and in their own context. We can achieve this by giving them time AWAY from their phones, but not only that, we must empower them with real science-based, mindfulness tools that can foster a positive identity.
In my opinion, one of the stronger barriers to undoing the vice grip of compulsive digital technology use is the way it effects our biological mechanisms of rational decision making. Constant connectivity has created a constant state of arousal - we are constantly on edge, waiting for the next cue to engage again with these devices. The relationship created with the digital device becomes one of escapism - we subconsciously associate using these technologies with the “alleviation” of anxiety that these very technologies created. Additionally, those with pre-existing anxiety conditions are more susceptible to falling into this damaging relationship to digital tech. The discomfort felt when we aren’t actively using our phone, I believe, is one of the the most prominent obstacles in the way of conscious phone use.
The withdrawal we feel when we put our digital device down and the feelings associated with that withdrawal (social isolation, FOMO, physiological stress, heightened self-criticism etc…) need to be addressed and tamed before one can take the best step forward to conscious tech use. When we are put it a position to decide whether or not we want to continue using a digital device in a way that we KNOW is potentially damaging, being in a state of psychological and physiological withdrawal leaves the user more likely to make the irrational decision to keep using the phone, just to relieve the symptoms. When we are in a more relaxed, “meditative” state the user is more likely to choose the option that takes them in the direction of well-being. Using our understanding of biology, we can begin to nip these uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms in the bud using proven breathing or mindful techniques. Breathing in a certain way or engaging in a gamified mindfulness exercise can relax the nervous system and promote mental equanimity - alter your brain/emotional state to be in the best position possible to develop a conscious phone relationship. It’s key we don’t underestimate the effect of the withdrawal symptoms - our biology and mindfulness can help us.